SUBJECT: Moab Man: Fossilized Human Ear Provides Proof that Ancient Man lived into middle age.
FOR RELEASE: April 1, 2002 Only
Salt Lake City, Utah
A petrified human ear, found by an amateur fossil hunter, provides firm evidence that primitive man lived into middle age.
Troy Bagthorp, tool repairman and amateur fossil hunter claims to have found a fossilized human ear in a remote canyon in Eastern Utah. The find, if authenticated, could finally give scientists an idea of mans' longevity in ancient times. "The near perfect ear contains more than a dozen well preserved ear hairs, which proves that our ancestors lived into middle age," Claims Dr. John "Steve" Smith, Professor of Forensic Dermatology at Moab University.
Bagthorp found the ear while sorting through layers of Boguscite, a salmon colored sandstone, known for it's rich fossil finds. "We were looking around Backwash Canyon when suddenly my little brother steps on this ear shaped rock. At first we thought we had discovered a dead guy, but we figured because it was only an ear and it probably takes fifty years or more for an ear to turn into stone, the police wouldn't care." said Bagthorp, "So we spent the next three days looking for the rest of him, hoping to find gold jewelry and maybe a nose. You never find noses on anything a kazillion years old," adds Bagthorp, "Just look at that petrified lady, she don't even have arms or a head."
Smith, who has dubbed the treasure, "Moab Man," says the ear hair discovery is remarkable. "Even in ancient times there's evidence that people trimmed the hair out of their ears. Hair in the ear canal did keep insects out of the ear while sleeping, but hindered the sense of hearing during hunting, especially during a light breeze. Smith adds, " This ear is in remarkable condition, I think we can make an accurate reconstruction of the entire Moab Man, it's amazing what the ear tells about the rest of the body. For example, because the ear is not pierced, we can assume that this man didn't complete rites of passage into manhood. He was probably gay," adds Smith.
Bagthorp stubbornly refuses to reveal the location of the find except only to say, "It's a long hike in Native American State Park. Bagthorp and his brother want to build a theme park or magic shop in the canyon, but keeping the place a secret will prove to be a problem. "We've tried blindfolds," says Bagthorp, "But people are really stupid when they wear a blindfold, they fall down a lot, walk into cactuses and one lady even fell off a cliff. But that was OK, because she peeked too much."
(C) Copyright 2002, Steve Biggs, All Rights Reserved
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